So confused what to do

I have read some books that have to post and the pile is about to fall of my table so over the next few days I will fit some time into writing them up.  This post is mainly just to write about what is happening at this moment.  So you don't have to read it, this is just one way of hoping to come up with a solution that I don't have an answer to and I think no matter which way I go I will be kicking myself with the results.
( work rambling should I stay or should I go )

Do I feel a little better now after typing this not really but it does help a little.  Sorry for the long post just trying to get things from going around in my head and go through them.